Trump literally cuts the red tape on regulations

Trump literally cuts the red tape on regulations
CNN Video

President Donald Trump took time on Thursday to discuss the efforts his administration has taken to cut down on regulation. And he did so with the help of visual aids.

In January, Trump signed an Executive Order requiring agencies to slash two regulations for every new regulation put into place.

“For the first time in decades, we achieved regulatory savings.” Trump said. “We aimed for 2-for-1 and in 2017, we hit 22-for-1.”

Trump also touted the strength of the stock market and unemployment numbers, attributing both to his deregulation efforts.

For those of you playing POTUS Prop Bingo at home, this speech is going to make your day.

“This chart. I love this chart,” Trump said as he pulled out this chart.

Indeed, this chart — which details the steps for infrastructure projects — is a favorite of Trump’s. He’s used it at several events since April to highlight his point. It’s always a crowd pleaser.

(If you already had that box marked on your bingo card, sorry.)

The chart is so comically long that Interior Secretary Zinke had to help straighten it out on the floor, like a bridesmaid before wedding photos.

According to the President, the process to get a highway built takes “many, many years,” but he wants to take the process down to “maybe one year. We have it down to two.”

Trump’s other big visual statement came in the form of two paper towers representing regulation.

“In 1960, there were approximately 20,000 pages in the Code of Federal Regulations. Today, there are over 185,000 pages,” Trump said.

“I assume that this is today,” Trump said, pointing at the tower literally labeled “TODAY” in all caps and underlined. Safe assumption.

“This is 1960,” he continued, pointing at the stack labeled “1960.”

“We’re going to cut a ribbon because we’re going to get back below the 1960 level, and we’ll be there fairly quickly,” Trump said. As the classic logic conditional goes: If A, then B OR If going back to 1960, then cut a ribbon.

Then Trump adviser Chris Liddell handed him enormous golden scissors with which to perform his symbolic duties. If you’re looking for a similar pair, you can get one online for about $60.

Lest we forget, the President is a former real estate mogul. He is no stranger to a ribbon cutting.

Trump is the ultimate showman. This was a fact was once again on display as he made everyone watching the ribbon cutting wait almost a minute to watch him actually clamp down on the scissors.

Even his assembled guests were anxious to see the big finish. First, he summoned Liddell to his side. Then he checked in on Transportation Secretary Elaine Chao.

“Elaine, are you okay?” Trump asked. Chao answered in the affirmative twice before Trump moved on.

“One. Two. Three,” Trump said before finally cutting the red tape.

“Today, we CUT THE RED TAPE! It is time to SET FREE OUR DREAMS and MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!” Trump later tweeted.

If your dreams are still tangled in red tape, might I suggest sleeping with a pair of ceremonial scissors under your pillow?